When Ducks Cry or Why I Sometimes Hate The Natural World
posted by
Emily
@
2:17 PM
Regardless of my love of camping, and other outdoor pursuits, there are times when I loathe nature. Nature can be messy and primal. Working seven years in Yellowstone did not soften me toward nature. While I enjoyed glimpses of wildlife from afar, I never got over my annoyances with the common aspects of nature that I could not escape: mosquito season, allergy season, birds that have the audacity to sing, squirrels that make that awful squirrely noise. These are my big nature pet peeves. Recently, in the domesticated world of Bozeman, Montana, I have developed a new pet peeve:
Duck Love.
I work at Montana State University, a beautiful, a tidy little campus with great views of the Bridger Mountains. I can see the mountains from my office window, and until recently, I have cherished my view. My change of heart hinges on one thing:
Duck Love.
Our campus features a duck pond and often the ducks venture from their little pond and come by my ground-level window in search of human snacks. Often times the ducks will shadow my movements and walk with me as I go from desk to mini fridge hunting for a snack. They have learned not expect a snack. This is no tragedy. If they walk just 50 yards from here they will have all the day-old-bread they desire.
I can handle their begging, their tapping, their shadowing, their passive aggressive pleading. Guilt does not work on me, unless you are a small child. I am impervious to begging ducks. What I can not handle is duck mating season, and unfortunately it has arrived.
Duck Love.
It is not something anyone really wants to witness. . . .and yet, get ready . . . these little webbed waddlers have brought the burlesque show to my window, sullying my view.
Now working in Yellowstone I learned that I was visitor in the back yard of wildlife. So when I cursed at the birds that mocked me with their happy songs as I climbed up Elephantback Mountain all out of breath and cranky, I tried to keep my grumbling playful. When the squirrels woke me at 4 am by dancing on my cabin roof, I tried to keep a fresh perspective?OK, fine I yelled at them, but for crying out loud, 4 in the morning!
Similarly, I really do not think I should have to tolerate Duck Love on a college campus. I know it is nature, it is what they do, it is blah, blah, blah . . .
What it really is, is ducks outside my window partying to the Marvin Gaye classic: Let?s Get It On. These lusty little lotharios do not need a nonprofit, people! They are doing plenty to ensure they stay Unlimited. Meanwhile, I am captive in my office trying to divert the attention of a now horrified prospective student and her family who have traveled here from some place wholesome, where ducks have boundaries.
Duck Love, People.
It is Out There. Beware.
Duck Love.
I work at Montana State University, a beautiful, a tidy little campus with great views of the Bridger Mountains. I can see the mountains from my office window, and until recently, I have cherished my view. My change of heart hinges on one thing:
Duck Love.
Our campus features a duck pond and often the ducks venture from their little pond and come by my ground-level window in search of human snacks. Often times the ducks will shadow my movements and walk with me as I go from desk to mini fridge hunting for a snack. They have learned not expect a snack. This is no tragedy. If they walk just 50 yards from here they will have all the day-old-bread they desire.
I can handle their begging, their tapping, their shadowing, their passive aggressive pleading. Guilt does not work on me, unless you are a small child. I am impervious to begging ducks. What I can not handle is duck mating season, and unfortunately it has arrived.
Duck Love.
It is not something anyone really wants to witness. . . .and yet, get ready . . . these little webbed waddlers have brought the burlesque show to my window, sullying my view.
Now working in Yellowstone I learned that I was visitor in the back yard of wildlife. So when I cursed at the birds that mocked me with their happy songs as I climbed up Elephantback Mountain all out of breath and cranky, I tried to keep my grumbling playful. When the squirrels woke me at 4 am by dancing on my cabin roof, I tried to keep a fresh perspective?OK, fine I yelled at them, but for crying out loud, 4 in the morning!
Similarly, I really do not think I should have to tolerate Duck Love on a college campus. I know it is nature, it is what they do, it is blah, blah, blah . . .
What it really is, is ducks outside my window partying to the Marvin Gaye classic: Let?s Get It On. These lusty little lotharios do not need a nonprofit, people! They are doing plenty to ensure they stay Unlimited. Meanwhile, I am captive in my office trying to divert the attention of a now horrified prospective student and her family who have traveled here from some place wholesome, where ducks have boundaries.
Duck Love, People.
It is Out There. Beware.
3 Comments:
We have several hundred mallards at UC Davis. They're in the courtyard outside the English department all day right now, going after each other. Love, as you've seen, has precious little to do with it.
um, maybe you should go back to the city since you hate nature so much. afterall, we humans have invaded their space.
personally, i would much rather have ducks mating outside my window then to walk to central park and see humans doing it!
How long is mating season? I had my first glimpse this morning and hope like heck it's over soon. Never a big fan of public displays of affection from any species.
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